


Alone again

by scullyandmulderforever



Category: X Files
Genre: F/F, Fluff, MSR, Pregnant Dana Scully, Season 8, agnst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-19 04:53:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14866977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scullyandmulderforever/pseuds/scullyandmulderforever
Summary: A fanfic mostly in the view point of Dana Scully, throughout season 8. Nothing in the season is changed, just missing scenes are in this fanfic and Scully’s thoughts throughout the year while being pregnant with Mulders child.





	Alone again

> 1st trimester without him-
> 
> I had to tell him. I had to tell someone, and Skinners the only one I could trust in my Presence right now, besides my mom and my doctor. My mom, wouldn’t be back in town until tomorrow, and Mulder... well he’s gone. I don’t know where he is, I just know that he is gone, and that I need to find him. As skinner walks into my hospital room, I am sitting upright against my headboard in the hospital bed, with my hands on my lap, twirling around. I couldn’t stay still. I just wanted to cry after hearing this news.  
>  The gunman waiting around in the hospital for me, since everyone else was busy with Mulder. They told me they had lost Mulder, but that was it. I didn’t tell them about the pregnancy. Once skinner got to the hospital, the three of them left.  
>  Hearing skinner officially say he had lost him in the field, my eyes teared up.  
>  I needed someone to know. I needed skinner to know and I think he deserved to know.  
>  Scully: I’m having a hard time explaining, or believing it, but, I’m pregnant.  
>  I say, half crying, half laughing. Saying it out loud for the first time made was so odd. It was something I never thought I would be able to say after hearing the doctor keep telling me “I’m sorry Dana. It didn’t take.”, over and over again.  
>  Skinner stared at me in shock for a while. He didn’t have to ask, he knew right away it was Mulders baby.  
>  Skinner: Dana... how?? You’re barren...  
>  Scully: I don’t think the doctors can even answer that right now. I don’t know how it’s possible, but someone once told me to never give up on a miracle.

Skinner: Dana...  
before he can say anything else, Scully Interrupts.  
Scully: I need him.  
She begins to cry harder, hunched over, and skimmer is unsure of what to do at the moment. He puts his hand on her shoulder and his other rubs her back.  
Skinner: Shh we will find him. I promise. I will not let you be alone during this.  
Scully: What if this baby never knows his father? What if Mulder never knew I was pregnant and he is a father?  
She cries.  
Skinner: I will not let this child grow up without its father. Ok? Do you hear me? I won’t let that happen?  
Scully: I want to go home!  
She starts to panic.  
Skinner: Dana, you need to try to calm down. You know you can’t go home yet. Tomorrow you will get to go home. You need to stay strong for this baby.

Skinner carries in the hospital bag for Scully, and helps her inside the house, dropping the suitcase down by the door.  
Skinner: Are you sure you’ll be ok here alone?  
Scully: Ya, i will Uh... be fine.  
Skinner: You don’t seem too sure of that.  
Scully: No really, I’m fine. Just tired. You need rest too. Go home sir, and get some rest.  
Skinner: Don’t hesitate to call if you need me.  
Scully: Thanks for everything.  
He smiles back at her, and closes the door behind him. Scully had picked up her prescribed pills for her pregnancy, and some prenatal vitamins on the way home from the hospital, so she placed those down on the kitchen counter. This was going to be a long journey, but she could do it. She is the strongest person alive.

Waking up for work being pregnant has already been the hardest thing for me. Today was my first day back at work, and today my mom is flying back home from California, where she was visiting my brother. I woken up by my alarm clock, and slide out of bed, put my robe on, noticing the room around me spinning. Usually I have no problem getting out of bed, but that was also because I looked forward everyday to seeing Mulder at work. I had none of that to look forward to today. I wasn’t ready to face everyone at work, and to hear everyone’s chatter about Mulder being gone all of the sudden.  
Just as I always do when I first wake up, I walk to the kitchen, and look through my refrigerator for something healthy to eat. Looking at the coffee and yogurt that I usually have, made my stomach form in nots. I close the door the the fridge, and rush to the bathroom, supporting my stomach which had a small life growing inside of it. I lift the toilet seat up, as my contents of last nights dinner spill out into the toilet. This isn’t right. I should have woken up to Mulder, then had morning sickness, but it would have been ok, because Mulder would be helping me through it. Rubbing my back and using words of encouragement and tucking my hair behind my ears. It wasn’t like that though. I was throwing up into the toilet, alone. I was pregnant, sick, and alone. Once I finish emptying my stomach, I rush to the sink to brush my teeth and wash my face. Something tells me I’m going to get used to this Little morning routine, and as long as Mulder isn’t here, I don’t want to ever get used to it.

 

Getting ready took more time then usual. It took lots of self motivation to get myself dressed and looking presentable. Skinner told me to take some days off before returning immediately, but I knew that would have made it worse. Right now, I need to take my mind of things, and staying home alone, wouldn’t be very good for that.

Agent Dogget. Seeing my picture on my computer screen disgusts me. He had no right to tell me “us agents” really don’t know anything about each other. I so badly wanted to yell at him and tell him that Mulders child is inside of me right now, but I’m not ready to tell anyone about this baby yet, or cause a big scene.  
I feel a sudden drop in my stomach, and try to keep all of the bile down that was now rising up my throat. I know there is no controlling wether everything comes out or not, so I don’t fight it. I take off my glasses, and run to the bathroom, knowing there was also no keeping it down until I got to the bathroom. I cough out everything I had eaten, pretty much that whole day, then wash up in my sink.  
I needed to talk to Mulder. That was the thing, and I couldn’t. I couldn’t. I felt like I shouldn’t be hiding in my emotions though like I always do, because I am caring for another living being inside of me right now, and I can’t let myself have a panic attack.  
I call my mom, hoping for her to pick up, and to hear her comforting voice on the other line. Instead, I here the recording of her voice in the machine.

 

Mrs. Scully: Oh Dana, I was so worried! You sounded upset on the phone. Is everything ok?  
She says as she walks in through the front door.  
Scully: Mom, there’s a lot I have to tell you.  
Mrs Scully: Is it bad??  
Scully: Well, I don’t really know. I guess some good, but mostly bad. Want to sit down?  
Oh no. Her cancer is back isn’t it? I knew it all seemed too good to be true. Everything was going so great last time I talked to her. The universe just can’t let us be happy. We can not catch a break.  
Mrs. Scully: Sure sweetie.  
We sit down on the couch, and I notice she looks pale. She has always had fair skin, but she looked ghost like, almost sick. Her eyes were puffy, and it looked like she had just been crying.  
Scully: Mom, these past couple of days have been really hard for me, so I just need you to accept that, and let me do what I need to do to cope with it.  
Mrs Scully: Of course Dana. What is it?  
Scully: Mom, we were out working on a case in Montana, investigating, and I don’t know how to explain this in a way you would understand, but we lost Mulder.  
Mrs Scully: What do you mean, you lost Mulder?  
Scully: He got abducted.  
Mrs Scully: By What?!  
Scully: What appears to be a ufo.  
Her eyes start to tear up.  
Mrs. Scully: That’s all you know honey?  
Scully: Ya, Uh... pretty much.  
Mrs. Scully: Dana, I’m so sorry. Will you be able to find him?? He’s not d...  
I decide not to say the word ‘dead’, because I knew that would probably make Scully pass out if I said such a thing.  
Scully: No. at least not yet. But mom?? That’s not it.  
Mrs. Scully: What is it baby?  
Scully: I’m pregnant.  
Mrs. Scully: Dana? What are you talking about?  
Dana was now crying, and holding her stomach, as I start to tear up myself. I didn’t really understand what she was saying. I mean, I knew what she was saying, but for some reason it wouldn’t register into my brain.  
Scully: The day he got abducted, I had nausea and dizziness. Right as he got abducted, I past out, and they took me to the hospital, where I learned I was pregnant.  
As a parent to three adults with their own lives, there are still moments like this where I just don’t know what to say, or to do. Sometimes you just have to hug it out. I grab her in my arms, and hold her tightly. It’s been a while since we’ve shared such an upsetting moment like this. Not since she had been diagnosed with cancer. She doesn’t let herself fall apart in front of anyone.  
“Dana, it’s ok.”  
“No mom, it’s not ok. I can not do this alone! I can’t raise a baby myself!”  
Although I pretty much knew Fox was the father, what she had said to me clarified it, which made me even more upset.  
“What if we never find him”  
She continues to cry on my shoulder.

Scully continues to hug her mom and eventually stops crying, which opens her mother up to speak. Mrs. Scully: You will find him Dana. He will come back. He has to. This baby was created for a reason Dana. Not to just be left without a father.

**Author's Note:**

> I will post pieces of this as I write! Leave reviews in the comments! I love to hear your feedback!


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